LIFE a day at a time

 I find people very confusing sometimes. I've had 25 years of experience to feel that before you question me. It's so strange how we all go ahead and attach ourselves to a million things and then find it painful when we tug and the string pulls. It's like we've found comfort in this Limbo. We don't want life, we want limbo. We have equalised our happiness with validation, only when a million different pople- coming from different places with completely different mindsets- will stamp on our life, will we allow ourselves to feel good. We've gone ahead and given people control of various aspects of our life and then we feel like life is either out of our control or worse uncontrollable. It's like being a puppet, but with the consciousness of being one. Who wants that? We all suffer from "Society, friends and strangers". We suffer from their opinion on us. If we could've one power, we would want it to be the power to make everyone fall in love with

 I was never a fan of music. I loved the concept, had few favourites ofcourse. But songs and playlists were very limited at our dispense. I remember always feeling nostalgic or sad after listening to songs. And then I stopped because I didn't wanna feel that way. Untill I came to college and was forced to a lot of genres and a lot music, against my will and inspite of it. I discovered there existed songs that made me happy. That there was something called as surfing songs and finding what you like. As silly as it may sound, I was always apprehensive of this task. The field of unknown songs being shot at me seemed so uncomfortable that I hesitated for the longest times. I didn't want to feel sad again. Now I've felt such things by music that I believe in the stories we used to read as kids. How some Ragas made it rain or shine or cry. There are songs I listen to that make me cry no matter what but not because it's sad but because it's so utterly beautiful. It's

 Familiarity. Over the years the meaning this word bears has grown drastically. How our mind and brain is constantly trying to get familiar with the surroundings.  Like any animal, cat or lion, enters a place and starts sniffing around, pacing around to corners, feeling the "vibe", if you may. And only after a thorough discovering of everything, do they settle down and start living. We are nothing different than such animals. Everytime we enter a new place, we feel uncomfortable, unsettling. We snoop around the corners, gauge the many people and their behaviours before we enter the field, give our thoughts out and begin to be. But why? Have you ever wondered? Why is familiarity so important? Its because familiarity is synonymous to comfort. Only when our brain has come to know the terms of a situation, would it be able to exit the flight or fight mode and begin to think or feel or create. By familiar I don't mean to become friends with all people, situations or incidents,

 I'm disappointed of being disappointed. It is the catch-22 of a spiritual experience. Self hatred is a self fulfilling prophecy. Or more like a mirror room. You keep looking at yourself, never quite finding the out room. And constantly faced with the inconvenience of facing yourself,  touching yourself to figure out the how to get out of it. In the process, sometimes you fall in love, but most times you just leave it be. cover yourself in the garb of a crown and similar faces. They call that the way to enlightenment, letting go - of others, choices, likes and dislikes and ultimately yourself. In the journey, you start hating everything because everything is an obstacle when your goal is the attainment of nothingness. You naturally start with looking at all the factors that you have, that you shouldn't have, that you must let go off. Hating yourself for having them in the first place, because if you didn't, how wonderful it'd have been to attain perpetual bliss. And in

 We describe the world as a dark or a sweet or a good place or even an infinite place as if the world is something we saw from the outside. As if you are a visitor, an onlooker, a rebellious invader out here to take actions, either towards or against the world. We see the world as a place you need to preserve and protect or maybe as a dirty place filled with inhumanity where one must swim against the grain to survive. We have dreams and aspirations about the world like a passer-by here in this never-ending universe. But we forget. we forget that whatever that we say about the world, know about the world, think about the world, do in the world only exists as long as we are there to witness it.  What is the proof that the world existed before you were born and would not cease once you cease to exist. This world is not yours as a country to a citizen. This world is your creation. Everything you accept to believe and learn is your perspective, your choices, your take is THE take- the final

  I am 25 years old and fairly old now in this adolescence thing. People now see me as an adult or maybe a kid adult, at best. Funny how each year you look back and realise how naive and childish you are but the current one seems to be the wisest. It's impossible to ever see yourself truly as who you are, at any given time - a fool's baby just trying to figure out the right way to crawl and feel safe.  As kids we all relish in the shadow of stupidity and hence forward keep trying to shed that shadow that we so cherish. because sanity comes with a price- the price of acting wise and proper. One walks about hiding the chaos of the mind, each one afraid of the pop, splatter, thud that is constantly going on in the head, like a kaleidoscope of troubled beads bouncing off each other and hitting one briefly repeatedly, a mosquito coming again and again and you beating the shit out of your head to get one hit at it, one chance of beating out that irritating buzz. What's wrong with